..... there lived a flute doctor who was just starting out in a new job and could not afford her own place yet. Luckily, she had a fairy godmother who said she could live with her. The fairy godmother was so kind and helpful, the kind of fairy godmother you only see in... well, fairy tales. The flute doctor felt eternally grateful and tried ever so hard to help out around the house. Little did she know that should would find herself turning into a modern-day Cinderella. She ended up cleaning up after the fairy godmother's daughter and son-in-law, Mr. and Mrs. Elephant, every day.
The Elephants live upstairs and emerge from their lair to use the kitchen. I call them the Elephants because it sounds like there is a heard of elephants living upstairs. Sometimes I imagine they are getting chased by lions at the watering hole (in my brain, the scene has a very "The Lion King" aesthetic to it), but alas they seem to elude the lions and continue to terrorize the downstairs. There are stampedes throughout the day and night, and I'm pretty sure the ceiling will collapse before I leave this place. I fear for my life.
The Elephants are extremely messy. One day I walked into the kitchen and there were 5 used frying pans, each with its own spatula or turner. The frying pans, I assume, were used to fry super healthy food like a dozen eggs, large fatty sausage links, and overly sugary French toast, and then left to crust overnight. There were plates stacked up next to an empty sink and dishwasher, and the food had crusted to them as well. I spent a good hour cleaning up the kitchen so that the fairy godmother would not come home to the mess after a long day of godmothering and fairy work.
While I was cleaning, however, I couldn't help but think that although I had vowed several years earlier to never live with disgusting people again, here I was back where I started. This vow followed the second most disgusting roommate incident in my entire life....
One dark and misty night, back in Kansas City, I returned home after a rousing orchestra concert. It was after midnight and I was startled to see all of the lights on in the house, yet my roommate was not at home. I went into the kitchen to get a glass of water and saw that a metaphorical tornado had hit my small tornado alley house. I was quite worried about my roommate; it looked like she had left the house suddenly.
Here is what I saw:
1. Spaghetti sauce splattered all over the walls
2. Drawers and cupboards left open
3. The pot in which the spaghetti noodles were boiled had been overturned. The spaghetti had fallen out and was hanging down the side of the oven. When I got closer to it, I saw that the spaghetti had in fact crusted to the side of the oven. Who does that?! Seriously?!
My roommate was ok, in case you were wondering. She had an "emergency" where she had to go meet a friend for a drink. It was obviously a third world problem and warranted an immediate cease and desist all actions in the kitchen. That was that night I vowed that when I was done with my doctorate I would be done with roommates and their crazy antics forever.
So, you can imagine the crushing blow I felt when I found myself cleaning up, again, after the Elephants. Elton John was right, there is a circle of life.... despite my education and hopes of bettering myself, I will always end up cleaning up after people, or in this case the Elephants. The good news is, if I fail in my music career I can start a house cleaning business to pay off the $100k+ loans I have!
Hakuna matata, people, hakuna frickin' matata.
The Elephants live upstairs and emerge from their lair to use the kitchen. I call them the Elephants because it sounds like there is a heard of elephants living upstairs. Sometimes I imagine they are getting chased by lions at the watering hole (in my brain, the scene has a very "The Lion King" aesthetic to it), but alas they seem to elude the lions and continue to terrorize the downstairs. There are stampedes throughout the day and night, and I'm pretty sure the ceiling will collapse before I leave this place. I fear for my life.
The Elephants are extremely messy. One day I walked into the kitchen and there were 5 used frying pans, each with its own spatula or turner. The frying pans, I assume, were used to fry super healthy food like a dozen eggs, large fatty sausage links, and overly sugary French toast, and then left to crust overnight. There were plates stacked up next to an empty sink and dishwasher, and the food had crusted to them as well. I spent a good hour cleaning up the kitchen so that the fairy godmother would not come home to the mess after a long day of godmothering and fairy work.
While I was cleaning, however, I couldn't help but think that although I had vowed several years earlier to never live with disgusting people again, here I was back where I started. This vow followed the second most disgusting roommate incident in my entire life....
One dark and misty night, back in Kansas City, I returned home after a rousing orchestra concert. It was after midnight and I was startled to see all of the lights on in the house, yet my roommate was not at home. I went into the kitchen to get a glass of water and saw that a metaphorical tornado had hit my small tornado alley house. I was quite worried about my roommate; it looked like she had left the house suddenly.
Here is what I saw:
1. Spaghetti sauce splattered all over the walls
2. Drawers and cupboards left open
3. The pot in which the spaghetti noodles were boiled had been overturned. The spaghetti had fallen out and was hanging down the side of the oven. When I got closer to it, I saw that the spaghetti had in fact crusted to the side of the oven. Who does that?! Seriously?!
My roommate was ok, in case you were wondering. She had an "emergency" where she had to go meet a friend for a drink. It was obviously a third world problem and warranted an immediate cease and desist all actions in the kitchen. That was that night I vowed that when I was done with my doctorate I would be done with roommates and their crazy antics forever.
So, you can imagine the crushing blow I felt when I found myself cleaning up, again, after the Elephants. Elton John was right, there is a circle of life.... despite my education and hopes of bettering myself, I will always end up cleaning up after people, or in this case the Elephants. The good news is, if I fail in my music career I can start a house cleaning business to pay off the $100k+ loans I have!
Hakuna matata, people, hakuna frickin' matata.
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